Apps That Actually Make Money™
A portfolio of side projects in various states of denial. Each one is two weekends from launch. It has been two weekends for two years.
~/realm $ whoami
猪好富@newhand
Senior Proxy Orchestrator. Professional API Connoisseur. I command a fleet of residential IPs from a swivel chair and call it infrastructure.
about_me.md
I'm a self-taught terminal goblin who got into tech because clicking buttons felt slow. These days I spend my waking hours (all four of them) orchestrating proxies, poking endpoints, and quietly convincing myself the next app will actually make money.
On paper I'm a Senior Proxy Orchestrator. In practice that means I own more IP addresses than friends and I refer to my home router as a colleague. I treat Postman the way other people treat meditation apps: I open it daily, feel nothing, and keep coming back.
Confident? Wildly. Qualified? Debatable. But every endpoint I touch returns a status code, and that is more reliability than I get from my own sleep schedule.
847+
∞
4AM
$0.01
hobbies --list --verbose
Proxy-Maxxing
Managing a fleet of residential proxies like a digital warlord. Each IP has a name, a region, and my undying emotional investment. If one rotates cleanly I weep with joy; if one gets flagged I observe a moment of silence.
API-Maxxing
Testing every endpoint in existence purely to feel something. GET, POST, PATCH, that cursed DELETE that returns 200 for no reason. My love language is a 201 Created and my toxic trait is reading the docs after.
Token-Maxxing
Collecting API tokens the way dragons hoard gold. Bearer tokens, refresh tokens, one key I am 80% sure still works. My .env file is longer than most novels and considerably more frightening.
NodeLoc-Maxxing
Climbing community trust levels like a competitive sport. I posted my way to a promotion, and the dopamine hit harder than any deploy. Trust Level 3 or I riot (politely, in the replies).
Sleep-Maxxing
Aspirational. The theory is flawless: eight hours, blackout curtains, no screens. The practice is one more commit at 03:47 and a solemn promise to fix my schedule starting tomorrow, a tomorrow that never compiles.
Hardware-Maxxing
Designing circuit boards I will never fabricate, in software I opened once for a newsletter. The traces are gorgeous. The board does nothing. This is, I am told, the engineering process.
work --status=questionable
My job title is "builder of apps that actually make money." My actual workflow is opening Postman, sending a request to an API I will never ship, admiring the response, and closing the laptop with the deep satisfaction of a job almost started. The monetization strategy is robust: it's called hope.
The Proxy Fleet
Hundreds of residential and ISP IPs, lovingly rotated. The only thing in my life with a working health check.
Endpoint Tasting Notes
An exhaustive review of every endpoint I could reach. Brave. Bold. Unauthorized in three of them.
traveling --to=HKG
I have a Hong Kong problem, and the first step is admitting the price-drop notifications bring me more joy than most relationships. The moment a hotel dips three dollars, my phone buzzes, my heart races, and I am mentally already at the dim sum table arguing about who orders the har gow.
- frequent flyer, infrequent sleeper
- all of them, every single one
- yes
- zero (the har gow was worth it)